Debate ideas not people
The video from a few days ago of Leonora Jiménez adds to the list of events in recent months that I wish hadn’t happened, but it serves to illustrate attitudes that in these times of elections have been seen to be killing us. And as she says in the video, we have to say “That does not go with me.”
First, we take the actions of a particular individual and attribute them to entire groups. This is particularly true when we already have a prejudice that that group “is like that” (I think it’s a bit of confirmation bias). Like when one Latino commits a crime (particularly in the United States) and suddenly all Latinos are violent criminals. Like when one feminist makes an extremist statement and immediately we are all like that and we cannot even “defend ourselves” or know what we are talking about, or we stab each other in the back.
And so we have stereotypes for women, homosexuals, Christians, atheists, men, rich, poor, academics, etc., etc., etc. And by the action of one, we throw them all into a basket and refuse to get to know each person without prior judgments.
In addition, we close any possibility of dialogue, the people in the group feel attacked and why would I want to talk about colors with someone who assumes that my favorite color is pink?
Second, we attack Leonora as a person, not her ideas. “What a stupid girl.” “What a misplaced girl” etc. And when we attack the person as a whole, well, it is a bit simplistic because just because a person makes a classist statement, we cannot judge the person completely and irrecoverably classist.
She may have many other attitudes that are not classist and she may not know why the statement is wrong and may be willing to put it differently.
Second, if we attack the person as a whole, we lose any connection to discuss ideas and then 💔 (it has been impossible to discuss ideas in this election). Clearly, if we call someone Brute! out of nowhere, that person’s reaction is to defend themselves and forget about hearing anything we have to say.
I think it increases the backfire effect. So naturally Leonora reacted by defending herself and we lost another opportunity for dialogue. It is very different to say “Look, what you said, I don’t think is right for the following reasons.”
By the way, if I could with respect to the video, I would say: “Leonora, what you said doesn’t seem right to me for the following reasons, and it may not be what you meant, but some of those statements sounded that way.”
- We cannot say with certainty that the practice of speaking in tongues “does not harm anyone”. Here they explain cases where people have suffered severe health problems after believing they were being healed, for example, by speaking in tongues. It also talks about how some of these people deceive and defraud people. I’m not saying this is the case with Laura, Fabricio, or Ronny. (Nor am I saying it’s not the case because I’ve never been to their church)
- That thing about putting a woman’s “overcoming” by the husband she chose, well, it’s not a personal achievement, getting married to someone should not be anyone’s life mission and it is not an achievement or a symbol of overcoming. Of course, it may have helped her husband a lot and it is a joint effort where they are today, but to defend a woman, it is best not to use her husband. (Or vice versa with a man)
- Lack of education and opportunities and poverty are not synonymous. Yes, getting out of poverty is a feat to be admired, particularly if it is accompanied by education, because those of us who have done it have to do both things at the same time, study and work to be able to survive. But an education does not guarantee “getting ahead”. Just as opportunities and resources do not guarantee us an education.
- If we are going to talk about authenticity and doing things from the heart, it would be best not to sabotage ourselves in our own speech. The things we do “from the heart” because “that’s how we are” should not be called “ugly” or “ridiculous”, it sounds a bit like victimizing ourselves and not really believing that what we are doing is right. For one not to care that “they see us as ugly” “as if we look like a crazy old woman”, we have to start by believing it ourselves and to ask for respect, we have to start by feeling it ourselves.
Hearing criticism even of ideas and not of oneself as a being is very difficult, but with some introspection and an open mind, we have much more possibility of growth than a sarcastic comment or a hurtful “you’re an idiot.”