The eternal audition
There are hundreds of things one can audition for, generally related to some artistic skill.
I have been to 2 auditions… dance auditions… and it’s a weird feeling, there are so many emotions all together: hope, shame, panic, illusion… I don’t know what else… just too many. You may even get sick with nerves… if you manage to get to the end of the audition, to the moment when they tell you whether you won or lost… it can be the worst! You may even not be able to speak properly.
And the thing is that auditions are usually the conclusion of a quite difficult process, there are lots of sacrifices for you to get there, to “have” what you don’t want, lots of practices, lots of time dedicated to sleep and you get there… one step away from reaching it… but also from not reaching it… you’re nervous… maybe you see people around, and they’re waiting for the same thing as you, they also sacrificed, it’s their dream too, but everyone knows that there are only a few available spaces, maybe only one will get in, the rest… well, broken hearts…
A few days ago I met a friend, she was going to a singing audition (and she has a very beautiful voice), and she told me she couldn’t talk to me because of her audition and when she spoke it was with a very low voice… and it was a bit weird because she looked so worried, when she’s generally very cheerful… and I started to think of all her rehearsals (years of that), all the sacrifices, all the exercises, all the little things she did or didn’t do just to sing, always taking care of her throat, etc, etc, etc. and I got to the point where I said “God! we must be crazy to do that kind of thing!!!!, how do we survive all the pressure, humiliation, (very frequent) unfair comparisons???
Then I remembered certain conversations we had about auditioning and how people do the most desperate things to get attention (like men auditioning for women’s parts) and maybe it’s their only chance among thousands of people (35000 people auditioned to be the Australian Idol of the year!!!) finally the conclusion of “what the hell am I thinking” came to my mind… after all, we audition every day, for everything!!! Life is an eternal audition.
Every day we carry pressures, we get nervous, thinking about the future, practicing, preparing for the life we want.
Every job interview is as nerve-wracking as an audition, you want to be liked, you want to be the right one, you want to be chosen, you want to look professional, you want to know why you’re getting the job.
And what about going out? Especially first dates! for God’s sake! we have to admit it’s like that! should I say this? should I wear that? should I ask this at the beginning or end of the night? will he/she get scared? … or exams! God! how many exams do we have to take in this life!!!!!!!
And the game goes on… we want to please the boss, our parents, our partner, the teacher, the person sitting next to us… sometimes we want to please the whole universe!
And well that’s life, that’s how it works, and there’s no getting out of it! we just have to be aware of the eternal audition, maybe that way we can choose when to show up and to whom and how to use the effort only for the things that really matter and that we really want.
Drawings from: http://www.sheckymagazine.com and www.CartoonStock.com