Practice excess
Recently I discovered that we suffer from the malady of practicing too much. We want everything to go according to plan, we don’t want to do anything until we are masters at it, and we don’t want anyone to see us doing anything less than extraordinary in any task.
When we have never done something before, we feel vulnerable, and like the savannah monkeys, we have a cruel ability to make fun of anyone in order to establish our superiority. The vulnerable savannah monkey will be full of panic, and when he realizes he is as red as a tomato, it can trigger reactions that can even paralyze him. Who hasn’t experienced this? And who doesn’t agree that it’s horrible?
That’s why we practice and practice and practice, to try to overcome the fear. We hide until we have built some confidence and can go out into the world to show off our accomplishments. We always want to show perfection.
And of course, practice makes perfect and does wonderful things for each of us, it makes us grow, discover new things, invent, etc., etc. etc. … The problem is when practice does the opposite, when it doesn’t allow us to enjoy being inexperienced and innocent… when it doesn’t allow us to enjoy the first time that… when it doesn’t allow us to give a speech for 50,000 because we haven’t given one for 100…
And I was one of those who didn’t understand the fascination with people telling stories about the first times… the first time they had an interview, gave a speech, stood on a stage, made love, left the country… etc., etc. etc. In my controlling head, I always told myself, “what’s the big deal about those stories?” The first times are terrible, you’re all nervous, you can’t talk, you can’t breathe, your stomach hurts… (add your preferred terrible reaction when you’re nervous here), but once you get past the first time, you gain confidence and don’t worry so much, and I don’t know, maybe the fifteenth time you cross the suspension bridge, you’ll enjoy the beauty of the river instead of thinking you’re going to die.
I particularly thought it was unfair to all the following times, all the fuss was made about the first times with all the terrible things that come with them, and sometimes we’re not able to enjoy all the good that the second, third… thousandth times have… but well, that’s a whole other story…
Until one day someone asked me that if, when we leave this world, we could see any scene from our life, what would we like to see? Almost without thinking, I would choose to see my first kisses, the first times some guy kissed me. Just remembering those occasions, the conglomerate of feelings that is, to be released in a kiss… as a friend would say, “WOW” I have no words to describe it…
And that’s how I realized that just like a first kiss is something that can’t be practiced and you can’t know if it’s going to go well or if you’re going to kiss the other person’s teeth… there are many things in life that are like that… and those experiences, although terrifying, are wonderful… no matter how many times you rehearse the speech, no matter if you say it to your parents beforehand, if you’re going to give it at your elementary school or at the United Nations, no matter if you forget half of it and get booed off the stage or say it perfectly and have no reaction from the audience… you have to live what life puts in front of you and enjoy it, enjoy the fear, the sweat, the unexpected ticks, the adrenaline rushing through your veins, the stupid nervous laughter, the urge to go to the bathroom, the urge to cry… you may never feel them again.